I Wish to Be With You
by J.J.88
Summary: Six months after his death, she slowly followed his step. (WARNING: Suicide/Character Death/Triggered/Dark)


**Disclaimer:** All recognizable characters or settings belong to J.K. Rowling.

 **Rating:** M

 **Theme:** Tragedy/Romance

 **Assignment:** "Write about someone wishing something or someone away." Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardy (Challenges and Assignments)

 **Word count:** 1002

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 ***** WARNING *** SUICIDE/CHARACTER DEATH/TRIGGERED/DARK**

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 _"I wish…"_

That day, it was cold. The first hint of winter entered the house when she opened the second floor window. The cold brushed harshly to the skin on her face, making her shivering. She forgot the warming charm again. Usually, he was the one who remembered to cast it for her. But today, she needed to remember to cast the charm, herself.

It was six months after the fall of Voldemort, but the event was still fresh in her mind. While everyone grieved with their family and friends, she had no one to share the sorrow in her heart. Her once bright face now remained emotionless. Sometimes, she passed by the mirror in the bathroom, she almost thought she saw his face, _his expressionless face_ , unfortunately, it was only her reflection. She wondered how she would support to feel after the war. _Joy?_ It was gone with him. _Relief?_ She knew the end would come soon and which side would win. _Peace?_ Without him, nothing would be the same; even peace.

 _"Can I cast the charm on myself?"_

She cleaned his room for the hundredth time. She was waiting… for something, she clearly knew, would never happen. _He was gone_ , but she refused to believe. She feared of the reality, of the truth, of finally accepting his death. She did not want to live in that cruel world, where he left her behind. Half of the time, she turned around, hoping to see him lean to the door's frame, smirking at her. But the scene which was greeting back to her was only an empty hallway.

 _"Why would you want to do that?"_

Every night, she would cook dinner for her and.. _for him_. The table would setup for two, neatly and carefully. She would choose the foods that he liked. He was not that picky like many people believed, but there were some that were his favorite. He knew she was not good in the kitchen but he never said a word. In the beginning, she could tell that he rather drank a bottle of his horrible taste of potions than eating her foods. However, the man ate everything and never complained. Eventually, after a while, her cooking improved and she knew his taste or the way he liked certain foods. And while he was eating, she would stare at him, watching him enjoy her foods. _"Stop looking at me, woman! I want to eat in peace."_ She smiled sadly at the memory. He always protested of her strange behavior in observing him, but he never did anything more than a few complaints. But now, he was not there across from her. No more sneering or complaining. Nothing. _Nothing at all._

 _"I want to see if it can work on people too."_

Around midnight, she found herself standing in front of the Shrieking Shack. For six months, she could not bring herself to come to where he took his last breath. She could not even visit his grave. The truth was too much for her. She hid away in his house, drowning herself in an illusion that he would somehow miraclely turned up well and alive. Unfortunately, as much as she wished that illusion would become a reality, she knew deep down that he was gone, forever. Thus, to end these unstable thoughts, she finally came to where her nightmare began.

Her fingers touched the rough surface of the wooden door and pushed it slightly. The cricket sounded from the old door stirring the quiet night. Her eyes blinked several times before she could adjust to the darkness. She did not want to light her wand as she had been doing with his house. For some reasons, she felt at ease with the darkness. She found herself feel comfortable in something that she could not see. It reminded her about him, or simply, it made her feel closer to him. Darkness, a line between the living and the dead.

 _His blood._ She could smell it from the moment she stepped inside the shack. It was still lingering in the air. She unconsciously took a deep breath, inhaling such a wrecked scent but seemed so familiar.

Then, she found the spot where he died. The light from the moon slowly reached to where she stood. Lighting up the space enough for her to make out the amount of blood he had lost. _His blood was everywhere._ For a moment, she thought that someone was squeezing her heart, trying to make it stop beating. She had a vague information of how he died, but this was not how she had imaged. He drowned in his own pool of blood, by himself. Slowly and painfully. She held the wand in her hand tighter as she walked to where his body should have been and sat down next to it. Her back leaned against the wooden wall, letting her mind get lost in their memories.

 _"I believe the first thing you learn in earning your Charm Master is the Safety Protocol manual. You never, ever, test any spell on a human being, even yourself. Anything can happen and nothing can prevent it at the moment the magic escapes your wand."_

Her lips were moving but no sound came out. Suddenly, a fresh cut appeared on her wrist, letting the blood to ran into a thin line and soon they mixed into the wand that she held loosely now.

"You warned me before," she murmured to the darkness in front of her. "But you're not here to stop me anymore. I think I will try the combination now."

Slowly, she held her wand up and let its tip close to her throat. "Depulso vos, ubi amor tuus est!" [1]

That night, someone not only banished away from the Shrieking Shack but also disappeared from the Wizarding World. What left behind on the ground was the dried blood of Severus Snape and a wand soaked with blood that belonged to Eleanor Grant.

 _"I wish to be with you."_

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[1] Banishing you to where your love is! (Translated by Google)

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 **A/N:** This is the first time I wrote a M rating story with such a dark theme. Hope you guys will enjoy it as usual. Love!


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